The Trouble Of Being Kai
by Lissom-Howler
Summary: Kai remembers what happened on the night he was sent to the abbey and how it still effects him today, oneshot Please R


Hello to all those who are taking the time to read this. Well this is my second story and  
  
I'm writing this on a bit of a spur-of-the-moment type of thing, since I had a pretty shit  
  
day at school, it's only a one-shot and I doubt I will be updating. So anyway, I thought I  
  
would find a way to vent some frustration and I thought 'Hey how about some Kai  
  
torture?' So sadly you people will have to live with it ^__^.  
  
Kai: damn I could almost kill the person who pissed her off, why does it always have to be me?  
  
Lissom- Howler: Well it was unavoidable really, and who can help but torture you, you cant deny the fact that you have issues aplenty, that and the fact that it's really fun to piss you off. ^__^  
  
Kai: just get on with it you baka; by the way thankfully she doesn't own beyblades or any of the characters.  
  
Lissom-Howler: Enjoy and remember to REVIEW ^__^  
  
The Trouble of Being Kai  
  
Kai sat on he chair in his small room in their present Hotel in inner city Moscow, the door locked, twirling a small razor blade around his fingers. He had been cutting for about a year and a half, he wasn't really doing it to hurt or kill himself, just to remind his mind that he was actually still here, still part of the living. He had taken the razor and cut a long curving line down his arm, and was now simply watching the red viscous liquid course its' way down to his fingertips and pondering on how life had sold him out.  
  
People assume that Kai had chosen through free will to be like this, cold, emotionless, a robot. But while to a certain degree he had, he only did it because he knew what the world could do to you if you allowed yourself to open up to those around you. Kai hadn't been stupid enough to allow himself to care since his father had killed his mother and proceeded to beat him to a state that he needed some serious medical care, he had still not come to terms with what had happened that night, and it had thus continually haunted his every steps since.  
  
*Flash Back*  
  
At the time the Hiwatari Family were located in a large house on the outskirts of Russia, Kai's father, the son of Voltaire Hiwatari, had refused to let them live anywhere else other then the mansion they were living in as it was unheard of for a Hiwatari relative to live in anything other then absolute luxury, which hadn't made a large amount of sense to the small 5 yr old Kai, who simply enjoy whatever he did to the fullest. (A/N: doesn't chibi Kai just make everyone laugh, it's so kawaii ^__^). Vincent Hiwatari had unfortunately inherited his fathers cruel and sadistic mannerisms, which made him not only a formidable enemy but also a dangerous one, with underground rumors that he would murder any of those who opposed him or tried to stand in his way, so quite understandably there where not many who were brave enough to resist the man, and any who did try were often found in forested area's with several bullet holes littering their decomposing bodies, or they were found floating down a river many months after their disappearance.  
  
Unfortunately it was at about this time that Kai father and grandfather had started making their plans to send Kai off to Boris and the Abbey for his training to become Biovolts latest Poster Boy for world domination. It had been one night about a fortnight before he was to be sent to the Abbey that it had all happened.  
  
Kai and his mother had been called for into Vincent's study at about 7 o'clock at night, the sky was dark and a pattering of rain had started to make it's presence known to the city. Kai sensed that something bad was going to happen and he thought that his mother thought the same thing from the way that she carried herself, slightly more wary, more attentive as if to take flight if she, or her son, where threatened. They stopped just short of the office door momentarily.  
  
"Mummy, I don't want to be here, this doesn't feel right," said the young Kai, nervousness making itself known in his voice.  
  
"Shhh sweetie, it'll be alright, mommy's here, she wont let anything bad happen, okay?" Said Tarsha Hiwatari, Kai's mother, soothingly picking up her small son.  
  
"Okay mummy, I trust you," said the young Kai gripping his mother in a tight hug around her neck.  
  
With that reassurance as her comfort words Tarsha gripped the door handle, turned it and opened the door. Vincent sat in a high backed desk chair behind a mahogany desk. He focused his attention mainly on Tarsha and said to her, "Can you take the child outside, there are matters I must discuss with you outside of his presence," with his orders spoken Kai was taken outside to await an audience with his father.  
  
He had just sat himself down when he realized that he could hear raised voices from inside the door, he quietly shuffled his way closer and leant up against the sturdy door.  
  
"How could you do this, to your own son, your own flesh and blood!" screamed Tarsha  
  
"What I do bitch, is of none of your concern, I am the master of this household, and you would be wise to adhere to my rules," said Vincent calmly  
  
"Oh, don't give me any off that bullshit, there's nothing you can do to me, cant you see, there would be to many complications, to many questions to just do away with me as you do your other 'discrepancies',"  
  
" I see you have thought this over well, but do not underestimate my power, my deviousness, I could kill you and no one would know the better, they would think you had had enough of living this lifestyle, and left your husband and son to continue their lives on their own," he paused to add emphasis to his words "don't you see that this is just one option, there are inconceivable amounts of ideas where that one came from"  
  
"I don't care what you do to me, I can not, will not, allow to you send our 5 yr old to that place, he deserves better then simply being some pawn in your sick plans, I will fight you with every ounce of strength that I possess,"  
  
"Well then I don't suppose we'll have much opposition," Kai heard the draw being slid open and then 4 short silenced blast. Startled Kai slid back several meters and curled into a fetal position against the wall, he new exactly what those shot had meant, and what, most likely now, was going to happen to him.  
  
"Mummy, no." a small Kai whispered, a silent tear rolling down his check.  
  
"Bring the boy in!" a loud voice suddenly boomed, two henchmen suddenly stepped forwards from the shadows, gathering up the child who had started to object to being manhandled by biting and kicking everything within range, though to little effect as he was soon thrown in front of his father. As he started to sit up he noticed something off to the corner of the room, it was his mother. Her body had 3 bullet holes to the torso, which were slowly leaking blood into the Persian rug and polished floorboards, and a forth, the deathblow, delivered to her head taking away a large part of it. Kai still slightly in shock crawled over to her body and started shaking it with his small hands.  
  
"Mummy, mummy, please wake up, don't leave me alone with him please, you said you'd look after me, help me, please." he gripped his mother in a tight hug, crying into her neck when his father came across the room, picked him up by his hair and threw him against the wall  
  
" You stupid child, stop crying, No Hiwatari will ever cry, ever show emotion, as long as I live." He picked Kai up by the throat, dangling the small child several feet above the ground, "You have a reputation to uphold as the Hiwatari heir, and I would rather kill you, then to see you grow up into something hideous, something that cares," with that he dropped Kai onto the ground, then delivered his a swift kick to the side. Kai refrained from crying out as he felt several ribs crack as the kick was delivered, knowing that it could very easily get much, much worse then it already was.  
  
"Gather the boy and his things," said to one of his men standing off to the side watching the exchange, "We're advancing the plans, I want him to leave tonight,"  
  
With this Kai was roughly picked up and taken of to the helicopter, on his way to the abbey, just as they turned the corner he saw his father deliver another kick to the corpse of his wife, and child's mother.  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
At the time Kai didn't understand all that was happening, but in later years as he grew older and less naïve, he realized exactly what his father could have done, and probably did do to his mother's body as she lay there motionless in death, the very thought of the possibilities made his shiver with disgust.  
  
That very night he left for the abbey, where he would stay for many years. He would not escape from there for 6 yrs, and at the age of 11 the damaged would have already occurred beyond repair. The mental abuse, leaving him insecure and emotionless for the rest of his life, the physical abuse, leaving him scarred from torture, with long white gashes of scar tissue littering his body from head to toe, and the sexual abuse, leaving him feeling sick and disgusted with himself for being able to be so easily manipulated like that and unable to form a relationship of any kind or description.  
  
"Is this what my life has really come to?" said Kai out loud to himself, "even the cold, damaged, emotionless mask I wear is only there to cover up the other masks that I have set up around myself, I'm incapable of removing my inner mask, the one that surrounds the real me because the real me is fucked beyond belief, that's why I could never show the real me to anyone simply because they couldn't deal with something that deformed, something that grotesque. I don't even want to see it myself, but I have no choice but to live with it and ignore the real me deep down as much as possible.  
  
With that Kai picked up a wet discarded cloth from the floor, and wiped off the blood that had oozed down his arm as well as wiping down the floor and walls in the surrounding area in case someone was to notice the droplets of crimson colored liquid in the room, and picked up the arm guards, which had been discarded onto the floor when he had entered. He slid them gingerly onto his arms, not to concerned about the bleeding, as the cloth on the inside of the arm guard would soak most of it up, and unlocked the door, ready to continue with his life, his empty life, lived by a shell of a human trying to protect himself from the outside, by pushing away anyone who dared to care.  
  
"Oh well," said Kai adjusting the arm guards and scarf, that covered innumerous scars delivered over the years, "I suppose that's just the trouble of being Kai,"  
  
There you have it, it's not very good, but at least I feel better. Also to any who are  
  
interested my other stories don't tend to be this screwed up. I'm not really expecting  
  
much from this story as I did it mainly for myself and to make myself feel better (and that  
  
it most certainly did), but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't review, in fact quite the  
  
contrary, review even more, MORE I SAY, it'll let me know whether or not my insane  
  
ramblings are any good, so REVIEW, REVIEW and REVIEW some more it never hurts.  
  
Kai: Thank God, I thought she'd never shut up. I'm going to go find some unsuspecting little kids ass to kick, I suppose I'll see you all next time Lissom-Howler decides to participate in a little more 'Kai hunting'. 


End file.
